Oh my stars and garters!

If you are up to your ears in wedding planning (as the great majority of the BBP Blog readers are) then at some point you have had the great garter discussion. Is that a tradition you embrace or would rather set aside? Can you throw the bouquet and not the garter? Must they both be done or not at all? If you do the garter thing, which leg should it go on? How far up? Is it cheesy in 2008?

All excellent questions.

Miss Etiquette here at BBP says:

No, you do not have to toss the garter if you are going to throw the bouquet. It is in fact your wedding day and you can pick and choose which traditions you wish to take part of. You can do either, or. It is very easily handled by making sure that your DJ or band/MC fully understands your plans and announces accordingly. Here at BBP throwing the bouquet runs at about 95% while tossing the garter runs about 75%.

As far as which leg the garter goes on, it can go on either. Traditionally it was worn on the right leg but in recent times that has given way to the comfort and preference of the bride. It can be worn on either leg. Some things to consider if you are wearing a garter would be if you have any notion that one leg is better photographed than the other (birthmarks, injuries and scars, tattoos, etc).

Because the majority of brides do choose to wear a garter, even if it is not removed and thrown by the groom, the following are some general hints:

• You may opt to have a photograph taken when you get dressed of putting on the garter and then removing it until later. Some garters are very uncomfortable when worn for hours on end. they may be scratchy, or too delicate to endure a great deal of wear. This way, you can have the photo opportunity and still be comfortable.
• It is not necessary to have two garters, the obsequious one to keep and one to toss---- but you certainly CAN. Some brides are 'keepers', that is they have a memory box of all of their wedding items and details, to them they want to keep a garter they wore on their wedding day. The idea for many is that their daughters or future daughter-in-laws would wear it on their special day. It all depends on YOU----- and your personality.
• No, your garter does not need to match your wedding colors. About 25% of brides have garters in theme with their wedding.
• No, you should probably not hang your garter from your husband's rear view mirror! This isn't prom you know!
• Please don't wear your garter waaaaay up your thigh and have your husband go on a fishing expedition for it. Your Mother would tell you the result is not very ladylike, and we'll tell you that the photos are generally less than flattering.
• It is possible to handle the throwing the bouquet and garter earlier in the evening instead of as the last gasp of the reception. In many cases, your guests will begin leaving before you might have planned the big toss, so moving it up will allow for everyone to enjoy the tradition as well as more participants on the floor.
• There is just 'something' about having an 8 year old catch the garter. Miss Etiquette discourages it just as much as having an 8 year old girl catch the bouquet.

This is your wedding, filled with your tradition and those things that will make you happy. You're making memories to last a lifetime. When it is necessary to make a decision about this tradition, or any elements of your wedding----- imagine it in light of how it will appear when seen 25 years from now, or by your grandchildren.

To toss, or not to toss? This is indeed the question!